Thursday, March 25, 2010

Rain & Tears

I don't know whether it was the gray skies and depressing rain this afternoon, the sheer amount of work that is still hanging over my head at school, or the sudden realization that I have just a mere 11 school days left with my second graders that caused the flood gates to open and the tears to fall on my way home from work at 5:45 this evening. I thought, what the heck is happening to me? I've turned into a big bawl baby today!

There's just something different about not ending the school year on June 24th like everyone else will. I'm pretty sure some people would think it's a good thing to be finishing up the year early (especially if they have some of the same "special friends" that I have in their own classrooms). For me, I've always invested my whole heart and soul in my students (yes, even my "special friends"), so thinking about how soon I must say good bye to them was a very sobering moment for me. On the flip side, I had a number of parents tell me how upset their kids were that I was gone when we had to leave suddenly for Stanford in February. As a matter of fact, a few moms said their kids cried while I was gone and one of my moms had said her daughter didn't want to come to school until I came back. Another mom shared with me that the only reason she keeps bringing her son all the way from Lacey to school on post was because he didn't want to leave me. Consequently, my last day of school will also be his last, and he'll start the following Monday at his new home school. He's one of the 9 kids I also had as first graders. What a gift to get to have them for nearly two years. Those are the affects of having built positive, caring relationships in the classroom. I don't even want to think about what the afternoon of April 16th will look like in my classroom. I am pretty sure I'll be a puddle, and I can guarantee some of my students will be as well.

On a happier note, the snafu with the sub seems to be ironing itself out. It's not a perfect situation, but I should be able to soon cross it off my "list". Cayden seems to be pulling things together at school. He's got two more weeks to get his grades to where he wants them and then he'll become a "hospital school" student for the rest of the school year. His high school here has been very accommodating with his lengthy absence last month. I am just so happy and relieved that he will be able to complete his sophomore year and start next year as a junior. Instead of his last few years of high school being ridden with hospital stays, he will be able to live like a "normal" (is there such a thing?) high school student and just enjoy it and graduate on time!

Just one more day until Spring Break. I've already gotten my self-inflicted schedule figured out for next week: Monday and Tuesday-go to school to write report cards and organize the classroom, Wednesday-Dentist, Thursday-hey maybe Thursday is free, the memory fails me at the moment, Friday-Cayden's mom Angie is coming shopping with me to help me pick out some new hospital attire...yes, I need some new PJ's! I am not about to walk around with ill fitting hospital PJ's. She and I got to spend a lot of time together down at Stanford. We actually snuck away for a girls afternoon and got pedicures to relieve the stress of our last experience there! I am pretty sure we'll be on for baby back ribs sometime after I get out of the hospital.

Off to take my twice daily dose of ferrous sulfate to get my iron levels up. On the 20th, I donate my own pint of blood for surgery.

1 comment:

  1. Ok so, you were "a puddle" on your way home and now I am "a puddle" having read your blog. You are an absolutely amazing woman. I have no idea how I ended up with you in my life. I know it isn't because I deserve you.